Hamburg’s Man-dergarten

If it turns out that all you really need to know you didn’t learn in kindergarten then you can always try learning it at Maennergarten.

At least you could if you are an adult male in Northern Germany

There, in Hamburg’s shopping district, is the Nox Bar and its “Maennergarten” daycare program tailored towards entertaining men while their women partners go exploring the area’s shops.

Of course, many shopping areas world ’round have a nearby bar where men can get blitzed while women browse boutiques. In some malls there’s an entertainment center with billiard tables and video games, such as Dave & Busters in the United States and Canada. But we know of no other program aimed for adult men that’s modeled after a kindergarden.

Here’s how it works:

Once a couple arrives in central Hamburg they go to the Nox Bar where the woman drops off her presumably-potty-trained male significant other at the bar’s Maennergarten. The woman then pays the €10 fee and heads off to do her shopping in peace.

“Well what if the woman returns to the Maennergarten and can’t remember which man is hers?” you are probably asking yourself. Not to worry. All participants in the Maennergarten are given a name tag and the women are issued a receipt for the men they dropped off.

Inside the Maennergarten two “nurses” serve the men hot meals and beers. And there are a range of activities the Maennergarteners can keep themselves entertained with. Instead of finger painting the Maennergarten has power tools to play with. There are remote control cars men can zoom around a race track. There’s a widescreen TV showing sporting events. There are comfortable couches upon which men can relax and punch knuckles and talk as men do.

When the woman is done with her shopping (or at 6pm, whichever comes first) she returns to the Maennergarten and exchanges the receipt she was issued for her partner.

And for women looking to break up with their partner, “Sorry, honey, I lost the receipt.” seems as good an excuse as any.

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